Pray where you are

In the submarines and tanks
In the S and Ls and banks
In the cancer wards, the prisons and the bars
On the earth and on the moon
In the closet, in your room
In the flop houses, the think tanks and the farms
To the salesman forever trying to sell
To the faithful daughter walking to the well

CHORUS
Oh, pray where you are
Pray where you are
In the fields and in the factories
There's no limits, rules or boundaries
At work or school or driving in your car
Pray where you are

In the strip joints, in the church
On a desperate lost child search
On the airplanes and the backroads and the rails
On the blacktops, on the beach
Down a sewer and up a creek
In the penthouses, the gulags and the jails
To the criminal with no one left to con
To the movie star whose day has come and gone

CHORUS

To the junky with his back against the wall
To the lawman as he breaks another law
In the desert, off the shore
In peacetime and in war
In the pentagon, the court rooms and the malls
In the tents and in the caves
At the truckstops, by the graves
In our hopes and fears and struggles great and small
To the corner bum that no one seems to hear
To the president who prays for four more years

Pray where you are. . .


(Terry Taylor and Lost Dogs)

Jesus People!

Well, Gus and I finally arrived in JPUSA! It was just about five blocks away from our friends apartment in Chicago, so it wasn't too much trouble to find it. I had been here once before for a week, about four years ago back when I did Josiah Project (a summer Christian leadership developement school), and I'm loving my second trip here. It's been a crazy time here so far--it's kind of like living in a church and a college dorm at the same time. The community of approximately 500 JPUSA people live in an old hotel with 9 floors. Every morning, Gus and I wake up around 7:30 in order to wash dishes and sweep the dining room floors, as part of the "home crew"--what most people are put on who first come to the community. The first night Gus couldn't sleep because our two roommates had trouble with snoring and flatulence! (even with earplugs in, he could hear both!)
One of my favorite things about our time here (we've only been here since Sunday) has been the variety of cool people we've met. Just tonight I was talking with a guy from South Africa, who has lived here for the past eight years, and shortly plans on going hiking the Appalachian Trail, then perhaps going to seminary, then perhaps feeding animals with a circus for six months (he admitted this was a little weird, but he wanted to do it anyways), then going back to the orphanage he had worked and taught at in South Africa. The two women who run the orphanage actually adopt the kids, so the goverment can't take them away, so the whole place is run like a large family. He said when he first got there, it was a mess--they had a room full of donations (most of which were junk--why do Christians give their old, used stuff to help others out!!!!!arrgghh). So, though he had never built computers before, he was able to build six computers for them out of the mess of computer parts that had been donated. He said his family had come to visit the orphanage, but they just cried, and didn't help much. If only we could learn how to move beyond sympathy and towards com-passion ("to suffer with", according to the roots). He mentioned his brother, who is a pastor who lives a very wealthy life and who actually preaches the health and wealth gospel. Meanwhile, he has a Zulu maid who lives in a slum and works for him for less than what is the general going rate given to maids and who goes home every night praying the marauders in her township won't kill her and take her money, or perhaps that her drunk husband won't find the money that she's hidden in her house, and use it for booze instead of for food. The world is crying out, and the church is sleeping.
"Don't close your eyes
Don't pretend the jobs done"

And Jesus still calls out to us--us ragamuffin, lost followers--he calls to us, singing us a love song--calling us home--away from the "mess" of following the world---
"Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love."
(lyrics from Keith Green's song "Asleep in the Light")

Let's do it! Let's join in Jesus' army of followers who will follow him to all the abandoned places where His light shines brightest! What have we to lose!? Our lives? Oh, yeah--we're supposed to be dead anyways, so what does that matter!?
Let's go--there can be no better life! Into the foolish maelstrom of Love.

Chicago!

Well, Gus and I finally arrived in Chicago, after trying to get a ride before on Craig's list, spending a day and a half hitchhiking (or attempting it) and finally we arrived on an Amtrack train. We met this guy on the train who was interested in talking to Gus and I about politics, and then about God stuff--his views were that Jesus was cool (someone who attained a sort of enlightenment), and that everyone is a part of God--kind of a panthiestic viewpoint. I don't think he'd met other Christians like us who preferred to refer to ourselves as "followers of Jesus" rather than "Christian" (which has so much baggage that people attach to it). So it was refreshing to let him know that there are believers out there who do not believe President Bush is God's gift to the world and who don't look with condemnation on everyone who doesn't believe exactly as they do. We also talked about how Jesus wasn't all about the rich and powerful, but about relating to people who realized they have problems, like us! I hope that he comes to a deeper knowledge of Jesus in his search for truth. I've realized that one of my favorite parts of travelling is the wonderful conversations you can have with people that otherwise you would never meet. And you never know how your faith is gonna grow and be challenged by the wierd, yet beautiful people all around.

Train!

Gus and I will be heading out tomorrow (hopefully) on the Amtrack--en route to Chicago, where we will be visiting friends and staying for a couple weeks at Jesus People USA, a Christian community that has had some controversy attached to it. I love controversy. I'm going.

Stupid movie

Last night Gus and I went to Road Warriors, the homeless youth drop in center I've mentioned earlier. They were showing this movie called Slither, and I watched it!!! Aaarggh. I can't believe I did. I hate horror movies (I would have refused to watch it if it was demonic, which it wasn't), but I nevertheless sat down, and gave in to watching perhaps the stupidest and grossest movie I've ever seen. (Gus tells me that Slither ranks up there with Snakes on a Plane if you like very bad movies) I don't know why I did it, except that sometimes I do what I do not want to do.

Great night

Last night, after Gus and I got back from the misery of Troutdale and the two truckstops that were opposed to our purposes in getting a ride, we hit the streets with signs. I had a sign saying: Ninjas killed my family, need money for kung fu lessons, and Gus' sign said Ignore me for $1, Will take verbal abuse for $2. His sign worked very well, getting him about a hundred bucks, and mine got about fifty. Many people laughed as they walked by, and we were stationed right outside an ale festival, so it helped that people were kind of drunk. Gus and I counted the many dollar bills in our sleeping bags, and were surprised that it came out to a hundred and fifty five bucks!!! Each of our greyhound tickets cost about 150 bucks each, so we are well on our way to Chicago.

Arrrrrrrrggghhh :)

Well, after spending from 11 am yesterday till 4 pm today trying to hitch a ride out of Troutdale (about twenty miles east of Portland) Gus and I decided to come back to Portland in order to "spange" enough money to get Greyhound tickets out to Chicago.
Faced with the disappointment of my idealization of hitchhiking breaking down (at least at one stop :)--I'm sure it still works, though), I am still thankful that God has everything under control and that really I have nothing to be worried about. Really, why worry at all? I have no bills to pay, no reason to think that I won't have enough food to survive on and enough warmth to live on! And besides that, I have still faced very little suffering in my short life--there are more lessons to learn, more sufferings to undergo, and much more to be lived--why should I live it in the frustrations of a couple days?
And along the way, I've learned a few lessons--Don't try to hitch out of a truckstop on the weekend (especially Saturday!! all the truckers are sleeping or waiting till Monday).
Yesterday was especially hard, because after about an hour, one of the truckers at the stop said he might be able to take us (he was going all the way to Michigan!!--past Chicago--on our route!!!) He went into the store and we waited and waited, and he never came out!!! We waited for two hours, and then started asking other truckers if they were headed east. One of them mentioned that he was going to Arkansas, and was taking the I80, so we told him that we were waiting on the other trucker, but if he never came out, we would go with trucker B. But neither of them came out! And we were bummed. We tried going in to see whether they were there, but no luck. After that, we were kicked off the property by a "nice" employee, so we tryed the other truck stop, a Flying J, but we were also kicked off that property after about 2 more hours. So we decided to bed for the night under the freeway bridge, which was kinda noisy, but after the earplugs, not to bad, except for the shaking that occurred every time a truck drove past.
Well, it was a disapointment, but I'm sure everything will be fine, and we'll be in Chicago eventually.
:)

Louis

I forgot to mention some things about Louis--first--he's been clean and sober for the past 4 days! He was so excited about it, and we rejoiced in this victory of God in his life.
I remember another time talking with him, and he shared about how he was in one city spanging ("spare some change?") and he decided to switch up his sign--instead of asking for money, he started asking people if they could spare a smile :) Though many walked past, missing the joy that could have been theirs, a number of them did smile back. I thought his idea was brilliant, although i havn't tried it yet.

Hitchhiking tomorrow

Well, the guy can't take us-- so tomorrow it is that we will go :)

Another night in Portland

Gus and I decided to stay another day in Portland, because we were waiting to hear back from a Craig's list dude who was travelling all the way out to Philly and willing to take riders! We are debating how much longer we are willing to wait around for him, and will leave tomorrow morning if we don't hear back from him (if he says yes, we'll leave here on the 2nd of Dec.)

Last night we decided to try to procure shelter instead of sleeping outside again in the cold, so after Road Warriors we walked up to a place that was offering emergency beds (and if they were full, then vouchers for motel rooms). Thankfully, we were able to get a room (although it was pretty far away--77th street, when we were around 6th!). So he gave us bus passes to get there (unfortunately not for the way back) As we were waiting around the bus stop at about 10:30 pm, we met this guy who was carrying a duffel bag that he claimed had soup in it! That he was taking back to give to his friend who was sick. He was an interesting guy--worried that something would happen on the bus, such as someone throwing up, or a gang fight erupting on the bus (he called it "fucklihood"--as in the likelihood of something bad happening). Then another guy showed up--"C" (he had come down from Washington on a greyhound)--he was cool and we started talking to him as well--it was a little bus stop party! But one more person came by--a girl who was exhausted from her train ride up from Mount Shasta (my fav. mountain so far in California). She was gonna miss her bus if she didn't go to another bus stop which was a ways away, so we offered to walk with her over there. I was pleased at the level of trust she exhibited to us as complete strangers, but she got on the next bus that came (cause it could take her by the real bus stop she needed) and we were gonna get on, but decided not to (knowing she would be fine). Anyway, it ended up being Gus, C, and me who were together, getting on the next bus--the number 9. At one point, he offered us some mushrooms (not the kind your mom puts in soup) and we declined, but he started opening up as somehow we got to talking about Jesus. C started sharing his heart--turns out he is a brother in Christ who had fallen--gotten into some trouble at home and gave up on his girlfriend and two year old son and started fleeing his old happiness through drugs and alcohol. He was going south to stay with his alcoholic mother that night, but wasn't too excited about it, so we offered to let him stay with us in our hotel room. He gladly accepted, and was amazed at our hospitality (though I don't think he should have been, nor do I think we were doing anything really out of the ordinary as followers of Jesus, and it was no sacrifice to us, just a joy). So we finally arrived a little before midnight at the motel and had a wonderful time of prayer and encouragement in the room (after sneaking him in). I stayed up with him till 3 am! another really late night, but it was a joy and pleasure to share with eachother and pray for one eachother. I'm sure C (not his real name) would appreciate your prayers as well during this time of transition for him. He really felt God's love last night reaching out to him, but he needs help with the practicalities of what to do next.

Gus' blog

This is the myspace blog of my friend Gus, who's traveling with me--he's had some crazy stuff happen to him! You should check it out.

http://blog.myspace.com/rockersyourboxers

Into the cold north

Well, either today or tomorrow we will start our long trek (I'm guessing it will take anywhere between 4 and 10 days to hitchhike over to Chicago) from here. This stage of our journey will be the roughest, as we will have no regular access to food or shelter. Your prayers will be much appreciated. I'm excited to see God's hand working through generous and caring people to help us out, and to be a blessing to others we may come in contact with. With that said, it may be a while before I can resume blogging, but I will do my best. :)

God weeps too

“God weeps with us so that we may one day laugh with Him.”
—Jurgen Moltmann

Glorious

As I was returning to the library today from purchasing (one of a very few purchases I have made in the last three weeks!) a road map for our upcoming quest, I noticed it started to rain. Gradually, the little drops on my head turned colder and harder and eventually instead of splashing they bounced! My heart was practically bouncing within me--out of joy and delight in the experience. I've always loved the parts of nature that seem harsh to many--the rain, the snow, the sleet and hail--something about God's power and his love seem intertwined in their beauty. As I was walking around, basking in the hail, I noticed most people rushing about trying to get under shelter--a natural response, but nevertheless, I was gripped by a sort of spiritual sadness (or yearning)--a desire for everyone else to experience the same joy I was experiencing.
As I was walking, I passed by a middle aged lady from a distance, and as I was smiling, she smiled back. A few yards later I opened up my mouth to taste the tiny beads of ice, and heard her chuckling. I gave her one more smile, happy to find at least one soul who could appreciate the joy of living in that moment.

Cold

Last night we slept in the same place as our friend--but he left in the middle of the night--I don't know where too :( He said he had gone to his first CA (cocaine anonymous) meeting last night--I really hope he gets into a residential program soon.

Our great teacher, Pain

"No one lives on this earth without [pain]. It is the great teacher, although none of us want to admit it. If we do not transform our pain, we will transmit it in some form. Take that as an absolute. If we do not learn this all important spiritual lesson, at least one, maybe all, of the following things will happen:
1. We will become inflexible, blaming, and petty as we grow older
2. We will need other people to hate in order to expel our inner negativity
3. We will play the victim in some form as a means of false power.
4. We will spend much of our life seeking security and status as a cover-up for lack of a substantial sense of self.
5. We will pass on our deadness to our family, children, and friends

from page 37 of Adam's Return: The Five Promises of Male Inititiation, by Richard Rohr

Sad cycle of pain

Today I ran into my friend that I mentioned in the Amazing Grace post last week (the one we stayed up late into the night talking and praying with). I greeted him and gave him a hug out of my joy in seeing him, not realizing until afterwards that I was being a little too eager. Especially because he didn't seem to want to talk to me. I realized in thinking about it afterwards that it's the same way I feel after I've committed some sin--especially if it's a sin that I've struggled with for a while. Anyways, it grieved me that he didn't want to talk about it--but I know that there is deep shame in drugs--especially when you've told your friends that you are going to quit. I hope and pray that he would not think it is ever too late to go back home to Dad, no matter how recently he's last used.

Trappist Abbey--How not to hitchhike

As it turns out, the "monastery" that Gus and I stayed at is called "Trappist Abbey," and supports itself through bookbinding, fruitcakes (most of which are sold around this time of year) and forestry (which they do just for fun and to be good stewards of the land they are stewarding.)

On Monday we left to go hitchhiking down to the Trappist Abbey, but started out a little late (in the afternoon, due to several important last-minute errands). So we ran across several freeways in our attempt to get to a good hitchhiking spot (kids do not try this at home :)) Don't worry, we looked both ways. Finally, we put up our sign (for the next largest town) at a bus stop. After about twenty minutes, and a bus or two going past, we decided we'd use some of the money we'd earned as sign holders in order to take the bus to Sherwood (I quickly asked the bus driver whether we could get a bus from Sherwood to our final destination--Lafayette, and another guy on the bus answered "Yes.") So we got to Sherwood and waited around for the LINK bus, a locally run shuttle route that was manned by an older man who didn't always stay completely on the road!! He was willing to go out of his way a little for some of the people on the bus, so Gus and I were hoping he would be able to drop us off sort of close to where the monastery was--but he ended up taking us right to the main driveway!!!!(which was probably five or ten minutes out of his way). Looking back, I'm just profoundly grateful for God's graciousness to us (in so many ways--the man who knew about the LINK bus--that he just happened to be riding at that time, through the Link bus driver going out of his way, etc.) --that we didn't have to walk for ten miles to get to the Abbey, and that we got there before dinner time (hadn't had anything to eat all day).

Amazing Grace

Last Saturday night we went to the Bible study at Sarah's house--wonderful time of fellowship with a mixed group of people--homeless youth, college students, church people--quite a mix. It felt like what church is supposed to be like. I overheard this guy named Louis sharing about how he had just had a profound experience of giving up his life to Jesus--and giving up his drugs and alcohol. I had a wonderful time hearing his testimony and sharing scriptures with him--it was a very mutually encouraging time. He is the kind of guy who attracts others around him because of his deep humility and brokenness.

Last night, I saw him again at Road Warriors and was going to sit next to him, but someone else was already sitting there. I didn't get a chance to talk to him, and as he was on his way out, I noticed he didn't seem to be in the same frame of mind that I first met him in. So I followed him out, and he told me that he had relapsed. We had a long discussion, in which I heard much of his life story, and I invited him to stay with Gus and I that night in order to help him stay away from going back into drugs that night. We stayed up until 3 pm last night talking and praying with him--really felt God's presence with us.

At one point, this other guy walked up to us and gave each of us a cookie, telling us that God loved us, and that He wanted us to get off the streets, even asking me how old I was. Then he gave each of us a dollar, and reminded us again of God's love. Although I was blessed by the cookie and the dollar, and by his concern, I was disappointed that he made certain assumptions about us--that we liked to party, etc.

Anyway, later on, as we are still talking, another, different guy comes up to us, and asks us if we were praying! We answer in the affirmative and I offered him a cookie. He refused kindly, and then our friend we were praying with offers him his dollar! So we all give him our dollars and he tells us that he is a fellow believer and shares what he has learned about God with us. Eventually, I ask him to pray for us--especially for God's power to empower us for holy living, and he prays for us then and there, sitting in a circle, holding hands, knowing God's presence on a cold and windy street corner.

Lst

Well, sad news--today I lost my Dr. Lic. and bnk Card. So if any of you are reading this--please pray that whoever finds it has no ulterior motives, and returns the cards back to me. The card for my credit union should be ok--I'm just gonna have them send a new one to me. But I can't do that for my Dr. Lic.! I have to go in person to CA DMV.